Passion, the most important ingredient

I have a pastry cook—let’s call her Middling.  Middling went to culinary school and has been working in restaurants for 3 years now.  One night during dinner service, she overheard that there was a table with a $400 bill. 

Middling: “Wow, did you hear that?  A table spent $400!”

Me: “That’s pretty good.  It ain’t the French Laundry, but it’s good.”

Middling: “The French what?” 

<jaw-dropping silence, as my eyes bulge out of my head>

Me: “Middling….you’ve heard of the French Laundry, haven’t you?”

Middling: “Um… no?”

Me: “Ok, this is your homework.  Go home, and look up the French Laundry.  Tell me all about it when you come back from your weekend.  It’s very important.”

When she came back from her weekend next Monday, I asked her about the French Laundry.  Silence.  She did not look into it.  I gave her shit and told her to look it up, and to show a little interest in her line of work.  Next time I saw her on Thursday, I asked her to tell me about the French Laundry.  Nothing.  I was so upset that I couldn’t talk to her the rest of the night. 

I figured out later why I was so upset.   It wasn’t because I was on some kind of power trip and was offended that my subordinate had not followed my orders.  I was upset because I, her boss and--I liked to think--mentor, had stopped to take an interest in her knowledge and development.  I told her it was important, and she didn’t bother to take 3 minutes to look into it.  Essentially, she was telling me that she didn’t care.  I was severely disappointed.

(In retrospect, the times I’ve gotten the angriest at work have been when people around me have been apathetic—a couple of times I even got to the point of throwing things at people, or chewing out a crowd of servers during pre-shift, definitely not my normal self!   I hate, HATE being around people that don’t care, while I’m busting my ass.)

Being a cook/chef is really tough, with very little monetary reward, so you MUST really love food.  Period.  I really do NOT understand why people like Middling, people who don’t care about food, are cooking for a living.  I hear CVS is hiring, why don't you send them your resume?  You’ll earn the same amount of pay but you’ll have shorter, easier work days.  Why the hell are you busting your ass in a restaurant?  

I have had similarly frustrating interactions with Middling since, and have decided to give up on her.  I have stepped down as Middling's mentor, and now I only serve as her boss.  I can’t get myself worked up over how another person is; I only have control over myself.  I can help a person only if he/she wants it.  During times like these, I remember a quote by Robert Louis Stevenson that I heard a lot in high school:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.”

I must choose my battles wisely.